A diagnosis of Alzheimer’s or other dementia can be a frightening experience. As it progresses, seniors may attempt to conceal their symptoms for various reasons, such as fear, stigma, or a desire to maintain their independence. At South Mountain Memory Care, a memory care community serving Allentown, PA, and the greater Lehigh Valley, we recognize the importance of addressing these hidden symptoms. We will suggest some common ways your elderly loved ones may be hiding their dementia symptoms and share insights on how to effectively support them.
What are some ways seniors try to hide their memory issues and dementia symptoms?
People may go to great lengths to hide their cognitive decline. The signs may be subtle at first, but be aware of unusual behaviors and attitudes, especially concerning interactions in familiar circumstances. Masking is natural, but may give the person a false sense of security and hinder care partners from providing needed support and safety.
Masking forgetfulness Although it’s normal to forget an appointment or grocery list now and then, regularly forgetting important, recurring birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays, as well as names, is unusual. Losing track of the date or time of year is also serious. Hints can include writing notes, setting reminders, or dodges like “Oh, I misplaced my calendar,” or “Someone keeps moving my keys,” and other excuses. They won’t mention the burned pot on the stove or the missing car keys. They may avoid talking about incidents or even lie about them.
Avoiding or altering conversations Your loved one may be losing their train of thought or may constantly change the topic of conversation to a subject that is comfortable for them. An affected frontal lobe can remove their “filter,” causing them to make inappropriate comments, jokes, innuendos, or slurs.
Repeating themselves If your loved one repeatedly tells the same stories or asks the same questions, they may be hiding their memory difficulties, or they may not remember that they’ve said this before. Either way, take this seriously.
Defensive speech and behaviors These tactics may include deflection and humor to fend off challenging situations. They may simply pass off their forgetfulness as normal or even blame others for misunderstanding their behavior.
Social withdrawal and apathy Isolation may be an attempt to hide their cognitive decline from others. Loved ones may shy away from familiar activities and chores, and show no interest in trying something new. Things that were second nature are now too difficult because they don’t remember how to do them.
A person with dementia may also no longer care about their appearance. If a loved one’s appearance is neglected with excuses like “I don’t feel like it,” or “It’s too much trouble,” they may be feeling helpless or hopeless.
How should we react when loved ones are displaying memory issues and dementia symptoms?
Seeking professional help is always the best option, but there are ways to personally cope with a loved one’s cognitive decline.
One general strategy is to react with calm concern. No one likes to feel pressured or abnormal, or be forced to change. Act as a trustworthy, supportive problem-solver, not an adversary. “Mom, I’m sure that worried / scared you. Let’s find a way to make sure that doesn’t happen again” is better than “Mother, we have to put you into a home!” Of course, that could be a possibility (although stated much more compassionately!), but it must be approached with professional guidance.
Be empathetic and nonjudgmental Dementia carries a stigma that is degrading and humiliating. Memory lapses happen to us all, so it helps to identify with your loved one. Talk about times when you’ve been confused or forgetful. “Lose” your keys so they can find them. In all, show your love and support for them!
Whatever the cause or level of your or your loved one’s memory issues, South Mountain Memory Care, with our unique culture, “small house” model, and abundance of certified caregivers, offers you the peace of mind of knowing your loved one will be cared for as if they were our family—which they are!
South Mountain Memory Care is committed to providing individualized, compassionate care to support our residents in achieving a well-balanced lifestyle. We strive to allow our residents to remain independent while emphasizing safety. Our focus is to enrich their life—mind, body, and spirit—by bringing new initiatives into their day-to-day regimen while maintaining the activities they find comfort in. South Mountain Memory Care offers the peace of mind you deserve. When it comes to those you care so deeply about, we understand because we care, too.