Imagine walking into a local coffee shop with your father, who is living with dementia.
He has trouble ordering. He becomes confused about where to sit. He asks the same question several times. Maybe he reaches for someone else’s coffee because he thinks it belongs to him.
How would the people around him react?
Would they stare? Become impatient? Correct him?
Or would they recognize what might be happening and respond with a little extra patience and kindness?
That simple example gets to the heart of an important idea gaining attention here in the Lehigh Valley: becoming a dementia-friendly community.
And with World Alzheimer’s Day on September 21, this week is an especially appropriate time to talk about what that means.
Dementia Doesn’t Stay Inside the Home
When someone develops Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, the diagnosis affects much more than memory.
It can gradually change how someone communicates, navigates familiar places, processes information and responds to unfamiliar situations.
But people living with dementia don’t suddenly stop being members of their communities.
They still go to restaurants.
They attend church.
They get haircuts.
They visit doctors.
They shop at grocery stores.
They attend grandchildren’s activities.
They may enjoy walking through downtown Emmaus, taking a Sunday drive through the Lehigh Valley or stopping somewhere for ice cream.
The challenge is that our communities aren’t always designed with dementia in mind.
That’s where the dementia-friendly movement comes in.
The Lehigh Valley Is Already Part of the Movement
Dementia Friendly Lehigh Valley is a local initiative working to create a region in which people living with dementia and their care partners are understood, accepted and included in community life.
The Lehigh Valley has been recognized as a dementia-friendly community through Dementia Friendly America. Local organizations are working to connect families with resources, provide education and reduce the stigma surrounding dementia.
That’s important because dementia isn’t simply an issue for nursing homes, hospitals or memory care communities.
It’s a community issue.
A dementia-friendly Lehigh Valley involves all of us.
What Does “Dementia Friendly” Actually Look Like?
It doesn’t require every cashier, waiter, police officer or neighbor to become a dementia expert.
Often, it starts with patience.
Someone living with dementia may need a few extra seconds to find the right words.
A person standing in a checkout line may struggle to understand the credit-card machine.
Someone in a restaurant may become confused about the menu.
An older adult walking through a familiar neighborhood may suddenly appear uncertain about where they are.
Our first reaction can make an enormous difference.
Instead of immediately assuming someone is being difficult, inattentive or rude, we can consider another possibility:
Maybe this person needs help.
Speak calmly.
Use simple sentences.
Give the person time to respond.
Avoid arguing over small details.
Offer assistance without embarrassing them.
And remember that there is a person behind the diagnosis.
Families Need a Dementia-Friendly Community, Too
Dementia also affects spouses, adult children, grandchildren and friends.
Across the country, more than 13 million family members and friends provide unpaid care to people living with Alzheimer’s disease or another dementia.
Many caregivers quietly carry an enormous responsibility.
They’re managing medications, doctor’s appointments, meals, finances, transportation, personal care and safety—all while trying to remain a spouse, son, daughter or friend.
Fortunately, families in the Lehigh Valley don’t have to navigate that journey completely alone.
Local resources include caregiver support groups, memory cafés, educational programs and organizations such as Dementia Friendly Lehigh Valley. Lehigh Valley Health Network’s Fleming Memory Center also provides caregiver education and support.
In fact, LVHN and Dementia Friendly Lehigh Valley are currently accepting registrations for a free Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregivers Retreat on October 13 at Cedar Crest College in Allentown. The program will address topics including home safety, transitions of care and other challenges families encounter while caring for someone with dementia.
Sometimes simply discovering that these resources exist can make a difficult journey feel a little less isolating.
We Can Still Include Someone Whose Memory Is Changing
One of the greatest dangers of dementia isn’t necessarily forgetting.
It’s isolation.
As conversations become harder or behaviors change, friends may stop visiting. Invitations may become less frequent. Families sometimes avoid restaurants, community events or church because they’re worried about what might happen.
Some changes may certainly be necessary as dementia progresses.
But the goal shouldn’t automatically become removing someone from life.
Instead, we can ask:
How can we make life work differently?
Maybe church means attending a quieter service.
Dinner at a restaurant becomes an early lunch when it’s less crowded.
A two-hour family gathering becomes a comfortable 45-minute visit.
A trip to a large festival becomes a peaceful drive through familiar neighborhoods.
Inclusion doesn’t have to look exactly the way it did before dementia.
It simply means continuing to recognize that the person still belongs.
World Alzheimer’s Day Is a Good Reminder
World Alzheimer’s Day is observed every September 21 as part of a global effort to increase awareness and challenge the stigma surrounding Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia.
Here in Emmaus, Allentown, Bethlehem and throughout the Lehigh Valley, perhaps one of the best ways we can recognize the day is surprisingly simple.
Learn a little more about dementia.
Be patient with someone who seems confused.
Check on a neighbor who is caring for a spouse.
Visit the friend whose memory is changing.
Give a caregiver an afternoon off.
And keep inviting people living with dementia to participate in the communities they’ve spent a lifetime helping build.
At South Mountain Memory Care in Emmaus, we believe that people living with dementia continue to deserve dignity, purpose, companionship and meaningful relationships.
Creating a dementia-friendly Lehigh Valley doesn’t happen inside one building or through one organization.
It happens one interaction at a time.
And that’s something every one of us can help accomplish.
