In Part 1 of our series, we explored the fascinating connection between music, memory, and dementia. We looked at why someone who struggles to remember names, dates, or recent conversations may still recognize a favorite song from decades ago—and sometimes even remember every word.
But understanding the power of music raises an important question for families:
How can we put that power to work for someone we love?
One of the simplest ways is to create a personalized playlist.
For someone living with Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia, the right collection of familiar songs can be more than entertainment. Music can encourage engagement, create opportunities for reminiscence, provide comfort, and give families another way to connect when conversation becomes difficult.
The key word, however, is personalized.
Start with Their Music, Not Yours
Music is deeply personal.
The songs that make you nostalgic may mean nothing to your mother or father. Likewise, a song that seems hopelessly old-fashioned to a grandchild might transport Grandpa directly back to his senior prom.
When creating a playlist, begin by thinking about the person’s life.
What did Mom listen to while growing up?
What records did Dad own?
What song played at their wedding?
Did they listen to music while driving?
Was Sunday morning filled with church hymns?
Did they love Frank Sinatra, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Tony Bennett, Motown, big band music, polka, gospel, classical music, or early rock and roll?
Don’t choose music simply because it comes from the “right” decade. Look for songs connected to their individual story.
Build a Musical Timeline
One fun way for families to develop a playlist is to create a musical timeline.
Start with childhood and move through different stages of life:
Childhood: What songs did their parents sing? Were there hymns, folk songs, or children’s songs they heard repeatedly?
Teenage years: What music was popular when they were 15 to 20 years old? What did they dance to?
Young adulthood: Think about dating, marriage, military service, college, first jobs, and early married life.
Family years: What music played in the house while children were growing up? Were there favorite Christmas albums or vacation songs?
Later adulthood: Which performers did they continue listening to? Did they attend concerts or develop new musical interests?
Ask siblings, cousins, old friends, and other relatives for suggestions. Building the playlist can become a family reminiscence activity of its own.
Let Familiar Music Open the Door
The Alzheimer’s Association recommends selecting music that is familiar and enjoyable to the individual and, whenever possible, allowing that person to choose the music. Familiar music may encourage engagement even as dementia progresses.
Once the music begins, resist the temptation to quiz your loved one.
Instead of asking:
“Do you remember this?”
Try:
“I remember you always loved this song.”
Or simply listen together.
Watch what happens.
Does Mom smile?
Does Dad begin tapping his fingers?
Does Grandma start singing?
Does Grandpa become more alert?
These responses can help you discover which songs have special meaning.
Pay Attention to Emotion
Not every familiar song will create a happy response.
Music can be tied to powerful emotions, including grief and loss. A particular song may remind someone of a deceased spouse, wartime experience, funeral, or another difficult period.
Watch your loved one’s reaction carefully.
If a song appears to cause distress, change it. There is no reason to force the experience simply because the song was once meaningful.
On the other hand, when you discover music that brings smiles, singing, movement, or relaxation, make note of it.
Over time, your playlist becomes more personalized.
Create Different Playlists for Different Moments
You don’t necessarily need one giant collection of favorite songs.
Consider creating several shorter playlists for different purposes.
A lively playlist might include upbeat music for mornings, exercise, or social activities.
A calming playlist could include gentle instrumental music, familiar hymns, or slower favorites for quieter times.
Another playlist might be devoted entirely to family traditions—Christmas music, patriotic songs, church hymns, or music associated with special occasions.
The Alzheimer’s Association notes that tranquil music may help create a calm environment, while faster familiar music can lift spirits. It also recommends minimizing competing noise and keeping volume at a comfortable level.
Sometimes less really is more.
Turn Listening into an Activity
Music becomes especially powerful when people experience it together.
Don’t simply press “play” and leave the room.
Sit together.
Sing along.
Clap.
Tap your feet.
Dance if your loved one is able.
Invite grandchildren to participate.
Pull out photographs from the same era.
If Dad loved the music of the 1950s, look through photographs of his first car while those songs play. If Mom loved big band music, find pictures from dances or her early married years.
Music, photographs, and storytelling can work together to encourage reminiscence. Familiar songs and objects can help individuals living with dementia connect with older memories and maintain a sense of identity.
Bring the Playlist to Family Visits
Families sometimes struggle with what to do during memory care visits.
Conversation may become difficult, especially as dementia progresses. Adult children can feel pressure to keep talking, while their parent may become frustrated by questions they cannot answer.
Music removes much of that pressure.
Bring a playlist and simply enjoy it together.
You don’t need an hour-long conversation.
Ten minutes of singing favorite songs may create more genuine connection than repeatedly asking questions about recent events.
Even grandchildren can participate. Ask them to learn one of Grandma’s favorite songs before visiting. Imagine her delight when a grandchild begins singing something she loved as a teenager.
That’s intergenerational connection through music.
Your Loved One Is More Than a Diagnosis
At South Mountain Memory Care, meaningful activities are an important part of caring for the whole person. Our resident-focused programming is designed to support physical, cognitive, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being.
That philosophy begins with understanding something fundamental about dementia care:
A diagnosis doesn’t erase a person’s story.
Behind every resident is a lifetime of favorite songs, traditions, relationships, careers, hobbies, celebrations, and experiences.
Learning those details helps us understand the individual—not simply the dementia.
And sometimes a song provides the doorway.
Let Us Learn Your Loved One’s Story
If you’re considering memory care for a parent or loved one, we invite you to experience South Mountain Memory Care for yourself.
Come meet our team. See our intimate, specialized memory care environment. Learn about our resident-focused activities and how we work to understand the unique interests, preferences, abilities, and life experiences of the people entrusted to our care.
And when you visit, tell us about your loved one.
Tell us what makes Mom laugh.
Tell us what Dad did for a living.
Tell us about their hobbies, traditions, favorite foods—and, of course, the music they love.
Because exceptional memory care begins with knowing the person behind the diagnosis.
Schedule a personal tour of South Mountain Memory Care today and discover a community designed around meaningful engagement, compassionate care, and the individual stories that make every resident unique.
